Thanks for the Memories!! Let's do it again!

This whole elementary blog idea started in 2000 when a few RHS classmates' emails spread like wildfire. This blog consists mostly of conversations regarding our 40th reunion and, of course, memories from our elementary days. As we approach our 45th reunion, please share your comments, memories and wishes on our RHS Class of '70 Facebook page. Let's start with...
Are you interested in reuniting with your elementary classmates again in 2015?




So... how do I blog????

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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Barbara (Tomkins) Melnick

I work as an accountant and consider it my third career. After graduating from Beloit College with a BS in biology I worked as a medical research assistant at the Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston . I married Jerry Melnick (also from Beloit ) after living together for 6 years and we had 3 kids who are now 21, 23 & 25 years old. So my second career (but first in my heart) was staying at home with the kids when they were young, and finally after becoming divorced I started doing part time bookkeeping which has evolved into my third career as I now work full time as an accountant. I’m currently open for ideas on what should come next – accounting has served me well but it is a tad dull!
I’ve lived in the Boston area (Wayland) for years now and for fun I hike, garden and travel as much as I can afford. I leave for France in 2 weeks!

26 comments:

  1. Barbara adds: Dear Dave,

    Thank you for the note alerting me to the Willard School blog that the group has put together. Like you I stuck the reunion notice into a pile to think about later. Definitely not top of my list. I went to the 20th reunion and ended up wondering why I had gone. When I left Ridgewood at 18 I felt like I had managed to escape and would never look back. Now these many years later I am fascinated by the combination of our parents, our environment, our associates, fate, luck and our own selves that we become. And so last night I got home from work and instead of going for a walk on a beautiful evening and checking the progress of the nearby flooding river I sat and read about people I have not thought much about in 40 years. And I sat there for almost 3 hours. And I awoke still thinking about you all. So here are some of my thoughts and memories.

    My memories of early elementary school were that you played with the kids in the neighborhood, like those 2 blocks from your house. For me that meant Tina Bacalakis, Alice O’Gara, Heather Dyce, Betsy Rodie and up until she moved in 2nd grade Didi Herring. As we got a few years older we were allowed to branch out a bit and walk a bit further. My next best friend was Barbara Canfield. Then I don’t know who I hung out with when she moved. When did she move? I know they went to California somewhere south of LA. I don’t know when Pam Simonson and I were friends – 5th, 6th grade? I remember going into the woods with some guy named Curtis but nothing more about that time. What did we do??? I find this lack of ability to pull this time back frightening. I think we were not supposed to be doing whatever it was! Pam, fill me in if you ever read this.

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  2. Sledding down the hill of Richards Road in the street

    1964 World’s Fair in New York

    Going to Hohokus on a Sunday and stealing returnable bottles from the back of a closed store and turning them in to an open store to buy candy – no wonder I was “chubby” in elementary school. My older sister used to threaten that Mom should take me to the Chub-ette department to buy clothes. Aren’t girls great! But who did I go with for this adventure? I know I was not alone but who was my partner in crime?

    Taking summer tennis lessons from the town but mainly just being interested in hanging around with the college guy who was teaching the lessons. Or was he a high-school guy? Who knows, an older guy who was trapped there entertaining the young, un-athletic (I mean really, the athletes took lessons at the tennis club) girls of town.

    I know we did something at the Y but what?

    Sunday school every week.

    Riding bikes to Tyces Farm for apples and cider in the fall – where was that place? Upper Saddle River or something? It seemed to take forever to ride there.

    Wasn’t there a 12 O’clock whistle that blew every day at noon?

    Girl Scouts – One year it was Michele Ashley and my birthday when we went camping somewhere. The leaders had brought a cake for us but we found a raccoon up to it’s eyeballs eating it. Who else was in that GirlScout troop? I know my mom was a Brownie leader but then was it Ann Larson’s mom as we got older? I think I stuck with that until 4th or 5th grade when I became too cool, right!

    My mother had a whistle that she blew when in was time to come home.

    Running the streets on Halloween with hoards of candy. And trashing things the night before for Cabbage night.

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  3. More specifically Willard memories:

    Someone’s comment about people throwing up really brought back that smell – weren’t the bathrooms in the basement? I don’t remember my kids coming home from school with tales of throw up like I seem to remember. Sometimes it would run though the entire class – I seem to remember that in 3rd grade.

    Learning to write in cursive script in third grade was traumatic for me. I got so frustrated that I scribbled across the page and was made to erase it.

    I remember having to read the titles to go with the filmstrips and having some revolutionary was era lesson where I had to read something about the faggots they were burning and being totally embarrassed to read that word aloud.

    I also remember a time when I knew that f*ck and fart were bad words but not what either one meant.

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  4. My teachers were:

    1st Millspau (how do you spell that)

    2nd Behrens

    3rd Talbot

    4th Slicker

    5th Johnson(?)

    6th Slicker

    I loved Mr Slicker – Remember how we would go to school that first day and sit in assembly hall while they called out the names of who went to which classroom? In sixth grade they called Barbara Thompson to Miss Eliason’s class but because she was blind she was already in the classroom and did not have to go thru that assembly room routine. But I thought they had said Barbara Tomkins. So I spent the first day in her class before they figured out that I was supposed to be with Mr Slicker again. Horray! My family always called Miss Eliason “Bird-Brain Eliason” I think both my older brother and sister had her and I knew that I did not want to be in Bird-Brain’s class. Looking back on this I probably would have enjoyed her but who knew in those days. I know I loved Mr Slicker in 4th grade but by 6th it was not as special.

    In 2nd grade I disliked Miss Behrens because she was strict. She made me go out in the hall for talking when really it was Scott O’Donahue or O’D…something had made me laugh. I held that against her for the whole year.

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  5. Hi Barbara, I have many of the same memories. Curtis would take the inner city bus and get off at the top of Glenwood Rd. I too walked with him to the woods but nothing more to report. This must have been during GW days. I , too had Slicker in 4th grade and 6th grade. I think we became friends then. I, too, hung out with Barbara Canfield. She made some of the best popcorn. I, also recycled bottles for cash to buy sweets. We were juvenile deliquents. Thanks for the memories. I did not really enjoy the 10th reunion but I am going to this one. Should be fun!

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  6. You know, Barbara, we were in every class together except for second grade (I had Mrs. Hay)! I was thrilled to get Mr. Slicker a second time in sixth grade! I remember Miss Misspaugh to be a petite little old lady. Gee, she was probably 58!

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  7. Barbara:
    Welcome to our club! I know we weren't that close in elementary school but there are a few things I want to run by you:
    * Wasn't that your house next to the bus stop on Morningside? If so I remember me, and Reinauer I think, one Christmas sneaking around your front yard and stealing your Christmas tree lightbulbs. I remember them being the large kind. Don't ask me why I/we did that but I remember because ...
    * Didn't you have an older brother named Tom? I'm thinking he was the same age as my older brother Jack, and that they were good friends. This was the reason for my angst. If I got caught doing the lightbulbs it would have meant mega-embarassment/humiliation. Fortunately for us, we escaped undetected. But if you've been wondering all these years where those lightbulbs went, well, now you know. - Bob

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  8. Peggy Figlar writes -
    Hey Bob, I think you're thinking of Tommy Thompson, who played tennis with both your brother Jack, and my brother, Vic. He lived up the street from the Tomkins. Although I think Barbara Tomkins had an older brother and an older sister. Her Grandfather was my doctor who practiced at the corner of Heights Road & Fairmount. He even did house calls.

    Peggy
    I never thought of you to be the "mischievous" type, but I guess you were silent but deadly.

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  9. Peggy, I was wondering about that. I know there was a Tommy Thompson, but I still think that Barbara had an older brother too. Barbara, care to comment? Jack graduated HS in 1961.

    As for 'silent but deadly', gee I don't know. Definitely a mischievous type though.

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  10. Rick Bowe writes -
    O,
    Nice recollection. But…I didn’t realize that you hung around with Reinauer without me around to buffer. It would have served you right to get caught.

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  11. Unfortunately, there were plenty of times when I hung out with Reinauer in this way. Most infamous of course was the time he decided to do a ‘Picasso’ on the back of the church wall. He started it, then I got psyched, grabbed the spray paint and did my own contribution. Got in big trouble for that one.

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  12. And then there was the time when I was with Reinauer, not sure who else was there, in front of the church (West Side Pres?) next to his house. There was a narrow, unpaved road perpendicular to the church, which at the time was unpaved, but was covered with largish gravel-type rocks (excellent for throwing). For some reason, with Reinauer, I am sure, we were throwing these rocks at the telephone wires in front of the church, completely oblivious to the trajectory of the rocks. Sure enough, I threw one that missed the wire but smashed the glass front of the church's announcement board on the front lawn of the church. Exit, stage right, into Reinauer's house, lock the doors, pull down window shades, sweat it out...

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  13. Barbara writes:
    Bob, right you are. My older brother Doug graduated in 1961. My sister Joan in 1965. Probably he would found it amusing to find one of my classmates smashing Christmas lights. (In case you don't remember, hot bulbs smash with a delightful pop. Don't ask how I know this...) My mother would have been a different story. I can remember her lamenting the state of kids in the world today. Ha! I am now wondering what kind of stories my kids still are not telling me. It has been one of my big regrets in life that my mom passed away before we were able to laugh about some of the things I did when I was young. I still wonder how much she knew at the time.

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  14. Rick: I believe it was actually an Episcopalian church - I know Carlisle went there. And I even remember the preacher - Reverand Rodgers. But I'm surprised you didn't get caught for your escapade. In the case of the Picasso, we actually thought we had gotten away with it because nothing happened for weeks. But one day (apparently) the janitor, or somebody noticed it and told Rev. Rodgers. And can you believe it, the first people they called were the Reinauers. Well somehow, Scot spilled the beans and I was implicated along with him.

    As penance for this sickening deed, Rev. Rodgers had our parents repaint the entire church at our expense. That always ticked me off - seemed to me like just painting the back wall would have been sufficient. But apparently the reverand, realizing that he had us by the testicles, went for all he could get. And my dad also made me go to Rev. Rodgers and apologize directly. That was Ok but it still bugs me that he made us paint the whole church. Makes me think that Rev. Rodgers was some sort of racketeer in a prior life.

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  15. Barb:
    Thanks for the update. I was pretty sure that there was some connection between my brother and yours. Probably they were on the same sports team - something like that.
    As for the christmas lights - yes, its all coming back now - the smash effect. That was probably it. Well all I gotta say is that its a good thing that they have video games out now because who knows what sort of stuff my kids would be getting into nowadays. Sure, the stuff they do with the video games is gruesome and grotesque, but at least its virtual. Truth is, my kids haven't done any of the bad stuff I did - no smoking, drinking, vandalism, grave robbing, etc. So I say video games aren't so bad after all.

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  16. Bobby,
    FYI you are right, it is St. Elizabeth's Episcopal Church and the minister was Alec Rodgers...he was such a prune, we nicknamed him "Metallic Alec" with the magnetic personality. Rick, the unpaved road was Virginia Place. I used to walk it every day to school. They have since blocked it off and it has become a side yard/driveway for a couple of the houses, and when I was last in town, someone had actually erected a children's playset at one end where the big rock used to be. I'll never forget that rock...I was standing next to it when I heard about Pres. Kennedy being shot and I sat down on it and cried.
    Barbara, I can't believe you recycled bottles that way! I always thought of you as such a straight arrow!!! Guess I was wrong. ;D

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  17. Hi Barbara,

    Not sure if I'm the "Dave" you refer to above, but I have fond memories of hanging out with you and our little "clique" in 10th and 11th grade that also included Mark Brotherton, Rick Jones, Pam Simonson, Brennan Zerbe and Sue Orbe. Then I met my girlfriend/wife of now 36 years, Cheryl Zalk and had no time for anything else during my senior year. Also, remember those ridiculous dance classes at the Women's Club?

    Dave (Chandler)

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  18. Yeah Irene, I'm a little surprised to hear some of these things about Barbara too. Maybe I should have gotten to know her better - always good to have an additional partner in crime. And she went to Beloit - same college that Dave Leach went to. It was one of those colleges where all the hippies went - also very bad. Yup, I am definitely intrigued now. Barbara, if its worth anything, Dave met his first wife there too - Joanie Anscheles. I believe she was his dorm counselor. Unfortunately for them that marriage didn't last either. But the thing that always concerned me about Beloit was the cold - I don't know how you all survived up there in Wisconsin. Boston must seem like a picnic in comparison.

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  19. Irene, like many people of our era, I also remember where I was when I learned about Pres Kennedy's death...I was standing by the stairs that lead from the larger baseball field at Willard to the street. I believe it was a kid named Larry Sheridan who told me. I didn't sit down and cry, but it was a big enough shock, a combination of fear, confusion, concern, that I remember it vividly to this day.

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  20. I remember hearing about Kennedy while standing by a water fountain outside of Willard! How did so many tangents come off of Barbara's blog?! I LOVE reading about Barbara's vices as a youth (who da thunk it?)! See, Peggy? I wasn't the only one!

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  21. Yeah, this is getting a bit crazy - Barbara probably never realized all that she was starting. But this is a good question(Kennedy). I don't remember exactly. But I do remember going home from school. My mother was taking a nap when we all piled in. I told her Kennedy had been shot and she didn't believe me. But then we turned on the TV and there it was. She just sat there transfixed. That's when it really struck me that this was important. As for Larry Sheridan, I remember him. He was a year behind us and lived on Avondale. I also remember his mother who was a cub scout den mother. What struck me was that she actually went out and bought the uniform - really strange to see a lady dressed up like a cub scout. I guess she was really into it. Don't know whatever became of Larry.

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  22. Barbara
    Ok, I have to weigh in because I think I have created this impression that I was some sort of wild child. Mostly I think I was(am) a quiet person. So I fell under the radar for most people.
    I think I remember the "bad" things I did more strongly than the more routine and good things. For instance, I cannot remember getting the news about Kennedy. Of course maybe the years spent at the "hippie" college has something to do with the vagueness of my memories. Can't be that I'm getting old, right?
    A lot of us went to Beloit from RHS - maybe 7 or 8 that year. Malcolm Clark, Jeffrey Panhorst, Dave Leach, Michele Ashley (after living in France with her family our senior year) - I can't remember who else. It was a school for underacheivers I think. It took people a while to hit their stride but a lot of my Beloit friends ended up as doctors (I majored in biology so this was the group I hung out with) But I think most of us were hippie-wanta-bes rather than true hippies. I do know that in the true liberal arts tradition the school gave people the skills to figure out how to do what they loved. My boyfriend freshman year hated the dorms and found a room with some seniors in a house off campus. It seemed that these seniors mostly hung around drinking beer and playing blue grass music. One was Andy Morse's(Ridgewood)older brother, I think. But don't you know that one of those beer drinkers went on to become the brewmaster at Anchor Steam Beer of San Francisco. And one day I went to the lady's room at John Harvard's Brewhouse (in Cambridge, MA) and there was Tim Morse's picture on the wall since he was their brewmaster.
    Beloit wasn't all that cold. South Beloit is in Illinois so you couldn't get much further south and be in Wisconsin. It just lasted a little longer than in MA or NJ. Besides who cared about that stuff when you were a kid?
    In answer to Dave C. the Dave I first wrote to was Dave Smith. He clued me in to this blog. It's not that we are really in touch but he just reached out with a quick note not being sure if I lived where I had when we last wrote 10+ years earlier.
    And yes I remember many nights spent wherever Mark Brotherton was babysitting. After he put the kids to bed we all gathered (quietly I hope?) But I also remember being really ready to do something else and not knowing how to find some other outlet. I guess we all started finding our way to the next phase of our lives junior and senior year.

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  23. Barbara, thanks for filling us in. As for Beloit, your comments seem pretty poignant to me. I actually met Tim Morse when I was living out in CA. He was friends with Wes Jenkins and Hal Candee. And I believe he was also married to one of the girls in or class (Betty King?). Yes, he certainly was successful. And I'd have to say that Dave Leach has done pretty well for himself as well, down in DC. As for it being cold up there, well all I can say is that's what Leach's impression of it was.

    But to the larger point, I hope you understand that we were just kidding when we were referring to your dark side. For me, and I suspect the others, it was all well intentioned, a friendly poke as it were. Truth is, you seemed pretty quiet and pretty normal, like the rest of us. However, after reading what you said about your mother, I am now doubly glad that I didn't get caught. Facing her sounds like it would have been worse than facing Rev. Rodgers.

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  24. Hi Barbara, I posted the anonymous comment on April 7th. Hi David C!Speaking of popping Christmas lights I would attend choir at Upper Ridgewood Comm, Church in the evenings and stop by Karen's Barnett's house and take their Christmas lights. Some times her Dad would see me through the window. Guess what ..at my Mom's funeral in 1990 he called me out on it. I was mortified. I was not sure why I did it. Today I would hate it if the kids in my neighborhood did it to me but they sure did pop!I also loved riding bikes to Tyces for apples! Pam Simonson Beaubian

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  25. What fun! Now I really want to come to the Willard reunion. I found out about this blog via FB. Ann Larson friended me, and then I saw Judy Schoneman's name... :-) I loved the class pics. I'll search my archives for more. I moved to Ridgewood from Glen Rock in 2nd grade and was in Mrs. Hays' class. She was scary. She would screech when she got mad. She threatened to hang us by our toenails if we were bad. I considered hiding behind Irene Nagy because she was so tall. like a model!

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  26. Wow I just found this site and I was enjoying reading all the posts about Willard and St Elizabeth's and breaking Christmas Bulbs. I remember my father chasing Pam Simonson up the street after that incident. At that time I throught it was really funny. He was a very proper man and seeing him haul up Glenwood was really funny. I was only at Willard School for 5th and 6th grade but the area was home to my parents till 2004 when my mother passed away. I always loved Ridgewood. I remember the bike rides to Tyces farms. I was just telling someone about them recently. We sure had a lot of freedom in those days. I live in Los Osos California now. I am divorced and remarried now for 15 years. I never had kids but enjoy the company of my brothers and sisters kids all of the time. I work from home and travel quite a bit. I started looking at the reunion stuff today when I pulled a message from Irene. I am not sure I can come but it would be fun!
    Karen Barnett Perry

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